Welcome to another post of Psychology 101! If you read the title and then expected this article to be about The Hulk then I’m sorry to tell you that you’re incorrect. In actual fact this article is going to talk about the psychology behind jealousy! (Actually that might relate to the Hulk, does he get hulky when he’s angry or jealous? I seriously have no clue.)

But before we get started what’s the difference between jealousy and envy?

These are two words people use almost interchangeably nowadays but in actual fact they have different meanings. Jealousy is when you feel possessive over something that’s yours and envy is when you want something that someone else has but you don’t.

Basically envy = I want what you have.

Jealousy = I have something I think you want.

Generally speaking jealousy involves three people and envy involves two.

So why do people become jealous?

Some evolutionary psychologists suggest that the reason we get jealous is to protect our mates and ward off other “predators” who are trying to slide into our girls or guys DMs. There are even studies to suggest that couples become closer when they start acting protective over one another (however over protectiveness is definitely an issue, make sure to not cross that line between protecting your gf/bf and controlling your gf/bf).

You just said that jealousy can be a good thing, so why can it be such an awful feeling?

Don’t worry I feel you—jealousy can suck. Any type of jealousy actually. Jealousy doesn’t only occur in romantic situations. You might get jealous that your friend is spending more time with someone else instead of you, or maybe your parents just had a new baby and instead of being excited about having a sibling, you’re jealous you’re going to have to share your parents. Hey, you might even be jealous that your cat keeps hanging out with other people when you just want them to stay with you. All your feelings of jealousy (and your feelings in general actually) are valid. However sometimes negative emotions like jealousy can lead to you acting negatively towards someone you care about. This leads me to the next question:

How do we cope with jealousy?

Turn it into an opportunity! Jealousy isn’t always caused by someone else, in fact most of the time we are the ones who create this feeling. Jealousy can reflect our own insecurities in a relationship. When you feel jealous you should probably ask yourself why you feel that way.  Is it because you have trouble trusting others? Or is it because you believe you might not be good enough for some people? Generally speaking jealousy is created from our own insecurities and fears. I know this advice is talked about a lot but a really good solution to stop you feeling jealous is to talk to people! Let others know how you feel and even if they can’t completely alleviate your insecurities, hopefully with talking about it you’ll feel a weight off your shoulders. I know it’s really hard to open up to people but trust me it’s worth it.

That takes us to the end of the article! I actually feel like this was informative and/or helpful for once (crazy I know). Remember talk about your feelings instead of turning into the hulk (still don’t know if that’s accurate but I’m going with it). So yeah….be nice to people and eat your vegetables. Bye!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201611/listening-jealousy

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201409/the-3-reasons-we-can-get-jealous